“ don’t point your fingers at me ! “

This incident happened sometime in June.
Honestly I was just getting frustrated at the many mistakes even smarty paints R can make, her hmmm ! I successfully charmed him” look, her “ I know it all , and you guys are lazy not to read the instructions. That’s my bible, and I read it.” attitude.

One day on the first week ( of the 2 upper management men started working here) , I was walking towards the kitchen and saw R chatting with M. She had this grim on her face that said ” huh! I just successfully charmed him. That was easy.” I didn’t like that. I think I was shocked to see such an expression at such a time. I mean, the monkey business is still going on, nothing is definite, nothing is certain. How …… in a time like this, could a person have such an expression ? I know she’s a young woman. and I was also somehow jealous ? turned off somehow. I think because caring S was trying to set up me and M, so I innocently and foolishly thought M was mine alone. ( Ha ha hah hah…… it was just hilarious now I think of it. How I had felt. Huh ! )

and cuz R had giving a lot of information to both N and M, and also training A at the same time. She was over whelmed and she had started to make some mistakes. With this in mind it was understandable, but at the time I was annoyed. I mean, we have one cloudy headed B and that was enough with her almost weekly mistakes. 2 of messy B was unbearable to me. On top of this, R always behaved like she knows it all. And main trouble is she does not like to double check with buyer. And that attitude cost us a lot.

She was also getting nervous and nuts. First we found out #1 is going to return more than 10,000 sets of elegant coverlet and then we find out that all programs of #2 …. Has a difficult time passing the testing. And with all her new tasks, she was behind in some of her priorities and then when she realizes them, she would use a threatening tone to tell me her concerns. Which was ……..unpleasant enough that I always tried to ignore her by walking away while she was half way speaking. I know I was not clear enough in expressing my feelings and it must have contributed to our later confrontations. At the time, I was just so shocked of that behavior that all I could do was to physically take myself out of that situation. To free myself of her area of bad chi.

One day again, she said in a threatening tone “ NO ! NO ! NO ! tell china they will still have to do the same thing. I mean it, if they are late again, they’re dead. “ she said this while she points her index finger at me.

I was so pissed. I said to her right then and there, with E with us, “ don’t point your fingers at me. That’s rude. “
It was very shocking to her and myself. She said she was sorry and then she started to make some jokes. Which made me upset, I mean are you making jokes because you think I am not serious ? I just confronted you and a minute after you can make jokes ? are you human ? of course all of this was in my head and I said nothing except used all my strength to sustain my serious look. She then said she was sorry again. After a minute of standing there and realizing I was not going to pay her any attention, she finally left. Left me alone is how I felt.

After five min she actually came to me and said she was sorry she did not do it intentionally and she got scared at my behavior and immediately she stared to cry and then ran to the bathroom. I was shocked and could not utter any sounds out of me. The whole time I felt she was manipulative. Maybe it made me think of my old self where I used to use my tears to get what I want cuz i didn’t any other way and didn’t believe that i rightfully do deserve better.
The next day she rudely started to talk about it and she told me she had googled “finger pointing” and discovered it was an asian education thing. She was a blonde American was never taught at school to not point her finders at people.
I was shocked. And just prayed that she never brings it up again.
At the time I had no idea how I felt why I was so angry and was just so overwhelmed with work myself that I wished to be left alone. And more importantly, to be respected. Meaning, if you wish to talk about a confrontation, ask if this is a good time, and let us to be alone to have some privacy. Yeah !!
GOD answered my prayer and the next day she did not talk about it and on her way to leave for the weekend, she gave me a big smile to let me know she was okay now, to smile at me, so it was somewhat over for her, this discomfort.

2 days ago I wrote this at starbucks. Somehow it read more like a diary like I was just mumbling to myself and there is no main agenda except my pain. I even interviewed a few americans my ex-coworkers at STARBUCKS to find out if finger pointing is a regular thing. It is not. luckily it is quite universal.

Published in: on July 19, 2010 at 9:42 am  Leave a Comment  

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