“ don’t point your fingers at me ! “

This incident happened sometime in June.
Honestly I was just getting frustrated at the many mistakes even smarty paints R can make, her hmmm ! I successfully charmed him” look, her “ I know it all , and you guys are lazy not to read the instructions. That’s my bible, and I read it.” attitude.

One day on the first week ( of the 2 upper management men started working here) , I was walking towards the kitchen and saw R chatting with M. She had this grim on her face that said ” huh! I just successfully charmed him. That was easy.” I didn’t like that. I think I was shocked to see such an expression at such a time. I mean, the monkey business is still going on, nothing is definite, nothing is certain. How …… in a time like this, could a person have such an expression ? I know she’s a young woman. and I was also somehow jealous ? turned off somehow. I think because caring S was trying to set up me and M, so I innocently and foolishly thought M was mine alone. ( Ha ha hah hah…… it was just hilarious now I think of it. How I had felt. Huh ! )

and cuz R had giving a lot of information to both N and M, and also training A at the same time. She was over whelmed and she had started to make some mistakes. With this in mind it was understandable, but at the time I was annoyed. I mean, we have one cloudy headed B and that was enough with her almost weekly mistakes. 2 of messy B was unbearable to me. On top of this, R always behaved like she knows it all. And main trouble is she does not like to double check with buyer. And that attitude cost us a lot.

She was also getting nervous and nuts. First we found out #1 is going to return more than 10,000 sets of elegant coverlet and then we find out that all programs of #2 …. Has a difficult time passing the testing. And with all her new tasks, she was behind in some of her priorities and then when she realizes them, she would use a threatening tone to tell me her concerns. Which was ……..unpleasant enough that I always tried to ignore her by walking away while she was half way speaking. I know I was not clear enough in expressing my feelings and it must have contributed to our later confrontations. At the time, I was just so shocked of that behavior that all I could do was to physically take myself out of that situation. To free myself of her area of bad chi.

One day again, she said in a threatening tone “ NO ! NO ! NO ! tell china they will still have to do the same thing. I mean it, if they are late again, they’re dead. “ she said this while she points her index finger at me.

I was so pissed. I said to her right then and there, with E with us, “ don’t point your fingers at me. That’s rude. “
It was very shocking to her and myself. She said she was sorry and then she started to make some jokes. Which made me upset, I mean are you making jokes because you think I am not serious ? I just confronted you and a minute after you can make jokes ? are you human ? of course all of this was in my head and I said nothing except used all my strength to sustain my serious look. She then said she was sorry again. After a minute of standing there and realizing I was not going to pay her any attention, she finally left. Left me alone is how I felt.

After five min she actually came to me and said she was sorry she did not do it intentionally and she got scared at my behavior and immediately she stared to cry and then ran to the bathroom. I was shocked and could not utter any sounds out of me. The whole time I felt she was manipulative. Maybe it made me think of my old self where I used to use my tears to get what I want cuz i didn’t any other way and didn’t believe that i rightfully do deserve better.
The next day she rudely started to talk about it and she told me she had googled “finger pointing” and discovered it was an asian education thing. She was a blonde American was never taught at school to not point her finders at people.
I was shocked. And just prayed that she never brings it up again.
At the time I had no idea how I felt why I was so angry and was just so overwhelmed with work myself that I wished to be left alone. And more importantly, to be respected. Meaning, if you wish to talk about a confrontation, ask if this is a good time, and let us to be alone to have some privacy. Yeah !!
GOD answered my prayer and the next day she did not talk about it and on her way to leave for the weekend, she gave me a big smile to let me know she was okay now, to smile at me, so it was somewhat over for her, this discomfort.

2 days ago I wrote this at starbucks. Somehow it read more like a diary like I was just mumbling to myself and there is no main agenda except my pain. I even interviewed a few americans my ex-coworkers at STARBUCKS to find out if finger pointing is a regular thing. It is not. luckily it is quite universal.

Published in: on July 19, 2010 at 9:42 am  Leave a Comment  

miao ~ the soon to be missing cat

her name is catherine too. we call her cat.
at first i was ….. reluctant to call her
cat. i mean that is a very cute nickname why should she have it all to herself ? you see how we girls can be so ….. easily jealous. then i recall during first week at work she was not busy and she wanted some attention so she was whining ? sort of spoke in a sweet tone so she would get some attention. i was so annoyed i ignored her treated her like she was air. then second week we gave her work and i began to like her because she spoke her mind. she was not easily intimidated or she hid it very well. she spoke her mind about :

1. please clarify what the heck you are talking about because i am not your bodyworm i cannot guess your mind. ( not in these words of course cuz she’s a pleasant worker. )

2. how her old work place got things organized. that is a huge job to organize the fabrics and samples. and of course at our job we madly and badly needs lots of organizations so we asked her and she shared.

3. when she had a design idea that desiredto come true she would ask ask ask ask relentlessly until she gets an answer.

4. about the whole copy right process. she had spoken to lawyers and she informed us everything.

the reason that she decided to quit was because of my stupid boss’s behavior. anyhow my boss was behaving rather irrationally one day and offended her, and the next day she gave her 2 week notice. the event had to do with copy right issues. my boss wanted to wrongly copy right the fabrics that do not belong to us and
cat had informed her this is not correct and you will get into trouble and the boss said just go ahead and do it. so cat did follow instructions and did many under her name and later under the boss’s name, then she informed the boss, this is very wrong and i am not getting involved any more. then the boss did something offensive and the next day cat quits.

sharp eyes on a soft feature

i was so sorry cat quit. i think i liked her a lot because she had a clear head and she was able to clearly express her ideas and feelings. she was a fighter a cute one. her task was copy right issues and technical sketches ( these are needed for production ) , although these tasks took all her hours during the day, she always had input on design and mostly when she shared about her feelings of working here i felt yes i have those feelings too, like you see i carzy and just randomly picking on other people have the same feeling as i do too. and she seem like she was enjoying her life, she recently got a house nearby. she is a taurus i thought she had a good handle and plans on what she wants in life. and suddenly she quits. that was so unexpected. she was the one who said ” people in our department are so easily to get along with and that is important in a job ” not so long ago.

however honestly i am happy for her.. tho she will be tight
budgetwise for a while. it is not easy to make a decision like this during this US economy. she even lives the closest to the office.

ai ya ya

good luck to her good luck to me good luck to all of us.

Published in: on July 18, 2010 at 7:17 pm  Leave a Comment  



在幾何公司裡我用過兩次效果非常好。一個對象是我精力毅人做事無理頭容易緊張亂發脾氣的上司。有 一度每個禮拜我們都有口角,公司裡的氣份被我們倆的低EQ搞得粉糟搞⋯⋯ ( 那時對韓國眉妹非常抱歉,因為那時我們的 creative production department 包括上司也只有我們三個人。韓國眉妹也只好忍耐著一個人努力的奮斗。 ) 那時我差一點點就 I QUIT. 老娘不幹了可以吧那 時無法接受都到了文民地米國來做事還會碰到無理頭無係統的上司與工作。真是命苦啊⋯⋯唉呀呀呀⋯⋯不了解上帝要給我的功課是啥麼就是忍耐嗎?啊好死不死米 國景氣差差差⋯⋯啊我也只好一直忍忍忍下去囉。有一次二姐給我建議替上司禱告。結果真的有效喔。之後呢上司的態度有好轉有進步啦。就算他是個有救的上司好 了啦。

還有一個對象是西瓜眉妹。他 呢算是粉聰明粉能幹啦。唯一的致命傷呢就是他粉不願意跟客戶確認一些事請。啊好死不死的這個確認的差事呢就恰恰是他的工作。啊每一次需要他去確認的時候西 瓜眉妹就是做得心不甘情不願的。那我嗎也看他的行為不順眼就暗地裡罵他。後來有一天我想到我應該為他禱告給他力量。結果我在廁所裡禱告完二十分鐘後他就告 訴我他把事情完美的處裡好了。靈吧。

Published in: on July 18, 2010 at 6:09 pm  Leave a Comment