privacy paranoia

these two days i felt extremely paranoid about my privacy as a new web expressive person. because usually when i have an urge to write, to express my feelings,sometimes it is fun stuff or self realizations, and unfortunately sometimes it is pms venting and you know that might be hurtful to some. honestly …… it depends on your mood, right ? when you’re in a good mood, a strong sold mood, whatever you see, you will not be affected. but if you’re in a weak unstable mood, you are easily affected by other’s behaviors and you might interpretate wrongly. honestly i think i am just paranoid.

10 days ago, when i started this blog it was only for good intentions. because i have a friend who is kinda ….. computer dinosaur and i mean she is not good with new technology and she complained to me that she felt a little bothered that she needs to sign up a new email account in order to read my blog. so i thought hey i sent out …. i think about 100 invitations and hardly ever is there a comment. people usually just read and they might not have the time or are in the mood to respond a comment. but she did she told me in person. so maybe she really wants to read my blog to know about my life and i should make a new blog so it can be easily access to her. ……… i had no idea that 10 days later i wold have this paranoia.

i mean i think there are a lot of mean-spirited people. and i am not one of them. i think of myself as quite lovely. it’s just sometimes ….. due to pms, my antenna to receive information from outside is short circuited or blocked, so my interpretation of the world around me is kinda twisted. i know i know, i am aware of this. and writing helps to calm myself down. and i happen to think some of these writings are quite fun to read and i like to share. i suppose this platform also provides a place for my writing to slowly mature……… honestly i just didn’t want to go to work one day and face my co-workers and they all hate me or they want o slap me or something of this sort.

today i asked a colleague how does her friends keep privacy if they have facebook and blogs ? she was very nice in taking time to answer my questions. ( honestly maybe she wanted a break from her work la i think ! ) —- she said ” i understand your paranoia. but you know, honestly what are the odds that one blog will ….. be so popular that everyone wants to read it and that if i wasn’t invited to read, i would walk to another computer station just so i can read it ? ” .………… and it dawned on me, i am hilarious, and i am ridiculous. who has so much time and who will be out to get you ? ….. that answer i suppose one never knows. some people do have the luxury to have a lot of time on their hands, and what’s that saying —- better late than never ? or i think always watch your back is the winner here. so anyhow after consulting with 2 friends, i decided and did get rid of my facebook account and also made a bunch of new email accounts. ( if i was in my hometown where i can easily have access to a dozen friends, believe me i would have consulted more lovely folks and gotten more answers. but hey i am grateful ! you know who you are ! )

at this moment, i, still ridiculously hilarious but feeling a little more protected in this new age of fast technology + zero privacy .